I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize