john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
