i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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