We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
