They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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