I wanna bring you to show and tell
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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