I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize