he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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