don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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