Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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