i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
