What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
