OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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