is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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