I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
