Can Purell be used as lube?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize