my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
