We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize