I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
