Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
