Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
