the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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