I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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