I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
