it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
