Four minutes until I can fart!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you win again, gameday.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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