i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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