I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
