Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
