I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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