I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
