Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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