a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish i was in the wii world.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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