Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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