But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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