There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
