you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Let's paint friendship bongs
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
