member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
