Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize