I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
3pm strippers are depressing
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
