i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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