So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
