My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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