My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
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She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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