I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
