I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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