cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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