Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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