Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
