Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
