no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
