Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
