I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
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