It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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