I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize