I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
