Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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