She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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