SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
