Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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