I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
