we have officially lost it.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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