He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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